At the risk of getting put on the naughty list, I’ve decided to think about the type of makeover I would offer Santa Claus. I’ll call it the Santa Makeover. For all those shelf-sitting elves out there, let me be clear: I would only do this if he came sliding down my chimney asking for a consultation.
No More Bowl Full of Jelly
First off, we all know the steady diet of cookies and milk can lead to obesity and abundance of extra fat. Aside from putting him on a strict exercise and diet plan, I would offer him liposuction to his chest and around the midsection and love handles to remove his “bowl full of jelly”. However I’m pretty confident this would not be his only solution. After the results from his newly increased activity level and eating patterns take effect, he is likely to have some loose, stretched-out skin that needs to be removed. This could be taken care of with a belt lipectomy, a surgery that removes skin and fat in a large belt-like pattern around the waist.
Keeping Him Jolly
For under his chin, I anticipate the fat deposits would persist and I would offer Kybella to dissolve this fat. He also might appear a little sunken in around his rosy cheeks and older than his stated age. Facial fillers like Voluma and Restlyane Lyft would help support his cheek structure and bring back some youthfulness to that cheery face. If he is ready for a more permanent change, an upper and lower eyelid lift (blepharoplasty) and full facelift would have Santa looking closer to the way he acts. If we did these surgeries in early November, he’d be back to the rooftops in time for his big night in December.
His complexion is an easy one. I would immediately start off with a broad-spectrum, zinc-based sunscreen in order to help out with the sun damage sustained when flying so close to the intense UV rays in his sleigh. Then I would start him on a GSR (getting skin ready) kit by ZO skin care to allow for collagen rejuvenation. A series of hydra-facial treatments would do wonders to increase the hydration level in his skin and get rid of his ruddy complexion.
Don’t Forget Mrs. Claus
And since this Christmas season is all about giving to others, I would be remiss if I left Mrs. Claus out of this Santa makeover equation. I would offer her a copy of my #1 Amazon best-selling book The Mommy Makeover: Restoring Your Body After Childbirth. This quick read, which delves into how a mom can give herself permission to have surgery, how to talk to her family, friends and children about surgery, and how to put the brakes on the emotional roller coaster involved with surgery, can easily be read while Santa is out delivering his presents on Christmas eve. It might give the old man himself some ideas for her for next Christmas.
Naughty or Nice?
While bringing up the topic of makeovers can be a sensitive one and risks getting me permanently stuck on the naughty list, I’m confident that the improved health, confidence, and appearances that Santa and Mrs. Claus would enjoy now, and in the future, might keep me on the nice list for years to come. Merry Christmas!