Discussing the Operation with Your Children
You’ve made the decision; you’re going through with your Mommy Makeover! Or at least, you’ve made up your mind – but have you started to talk about the operation with your family? Many of my patients have at least one child and most of the time these children range in ages where conversations with them can be very basic.
Communicating and Setting Expectations With most young children, getting into the details of your surgery is unnecessary. Instead, mothers can say something like “Mommy is having a special mommy operation, and she won’t be feeling well for a couple of weeks.” That’s usually about all young kids want or need to know. One of my patients told her eight-year-old daughter, “Mommy is going to have tummy surgery.” When the girl asked why, she replied, “Because the doctor said so.” The response at that point was simply, “Okay.” Most times, they don’t need a long, detailed explanation!
Maintaining and Ensuring a Positive Body Image If you find yourself in a situation where you have older children, it may be necessary to provide more detail on what and why you are undergoing surgery. When doing this, be mindful and careful of how you express the “why” of making the decision for surgery. Our kids should know that cosmetic surgery isn’t necessary to be attractive. They need to know that you’re having surgery not to become a different person but instead to restore certain aspects of your body.
This is of particular importance with both boys and girls reaching their teens; talk to your kids honestly, keeping in mind that you are an important role model for them. Here’s how one of my patients explained it to her 13-year-old: “As a mom, I sacrificed to have children. My body has changed, and some of those changes I can’t undo. What I’ve given to you I wouldn’t trade for the world, but now I’m doing something for myself.”
Be Aware of Their Feelings Kids should be encouraged to express their fears and ask their questions. Take your cues from them, being careful not to plant questions that haven’t already occurred to them but answering thoughtfully those they ask. When Mom is out of commission, their world can be out of whack. As you anticipate your children’s needs, they will feel more comfortable, and as Mom, you just might be able to recover a little more peacefully, knowing your children are more at ease with the whole situation.
With just a little forethought and preparation, and by anticipating questions and reactions to your surgery, both you and your partner will be better prepared to help your children adjust in a healthy fashion to your Mommy Makeover.
To learn more about The Mommy Makeover and what to expect from it, visit www.musiccityplasticsurgery.com